Part 1/2: Whats going on with Iran

this is basically a history lesson on how we got to where we are now

it took me way too long to get to writing this but life got busy for an mf what else can i say? im busy transforming into brad pitt and wearing fucking margiela every damn day and also making bread. also my house got eminent domained by the #contingent and i am being forced to embark on my very own version of the trail of tears so all that took precedence for the time being but we’re back. dont worry.

this is ltrly me tom moving out my crib

now once again when it comes to geopolitics im like the north star. im the guiding light that is going to lead all of u out of the darkness of propaganda and into the bosom of truth.

so lets go over what happened in iran and why all the shit over there is the way that it is. to explain this story effectively (even what im gonna do is going to be grossly over simplifying the context) we need to start like 100 yrs ago so you know what led to the situation that is currently happening in the country to be the reality. and this is a topic that hits home for an mf. im persian. my fam is from iran. i still got family and friends there. theres hella goth bad bitches there. my heart yearns for all of them.

this one of my fav spots in isfahan where da fam from theres hella markets and shi its called maidan e shah (naqshe jahan now post rev)

so basically around the time when ww2 ended (im skipping like thousands of years of history to keep this short and digestible) iran had a shah (persian word for king) and he was basically a puppet for the british who were paper chasing in the region via OIL. it literally always can be traced back to oil. so the setup up this point is basically the shah is sucking and fucking the british so they will back him and gas him up when neededby way of allowing the brits exclusive rights to suck and fuck the iranian oil reserves for pennies on the dollar and then sell that oil to the rest of the world for actual dollars

this was the king back in the day in his aura fit

people in iran though (the ones not connected to the monarchy) kinda feel like this is unfair. they’re lowkirk pissed off that another country is just pillaging the countrys most valuable asset. im gonna pause right here and try to frame this for my american audience. imagine if kim jong un was just coming into the states and just taking all the hot blondes and hung chads. and everyones like “dude wtf those blondes and chads are ours. they were created here. you already have a country full of abgs why do u need our bluzz (blonde huzz) and hung chads?” and trumps like “nah its chill kim gives me all the bread me and my friends want but ya all the blonde huzz are going to NK and a lot of them have fakeracks too and the chads are following and they’re like giga hung and natty”. that would piss u off no?

low qual pic but imagine if kim jong un took this from us

so ya a lot of the iranian population was pissed off. now at this time Mohammad Mossaddegh (good guy) was DEMOCRATICALLY elected by the parliament or whatver the fuck the governing body they had was called by a vote of like 79-12 or some overwhelming shit like that. and the shah is like i have to let this guy have some power otherwise everyone whos pissed off is gonna be even more pissed off. so he gives old boy some power to do shit and hopes that will be the end of that and he can go back to aurafarming and be rich and have thick eyebrows.

mossaddegh starts instituting some overwhelmingly popular reforms ( one is to literally outlaw slavejacent labor lmao) and becomes giga popular bc he actually has his fucking ears to the streets. hes not deepthroating the brits hes actually listening to mfs and instituting some change type shi on some yes we can (fade obama still tho). and i wanna stress if u conflated his politics to a spectrum hed fall center left. hes not some libtard wacko. hes just not a hardline conservative and hes iran first which is what starts to worry the brits.

real talk i have no idea how he looks like this he has such a strange head

the country under mossaddegh is a fucking movie it seems. theres a leader who cares. and they have all the freedoms a normal country at the time would have so all the fucking aura edits of iran before the revolution u see on reels or on twitter wouldve applied during mossadeghs admin as well. life is good

ltrly looks like america except the guy has bushier eyebrows

he then does what is defined as a mortal sin by those fucked up teeth having mfs and nationalises the oil industry. (i realize this seems more left than just center left but lets think about this. if you have to wrestle the oil industry away from a foreign power so your citizens can take advantage of it the first step is to take it away from the foreign power via nationalisation and then u can figure out how your domestic market is going to deal with it). mossaddegh was literally pro democracy he was not a communist by any means and im prefacing this bc the us and mid britain are literally about to act like hes fucking karl marx.

so the brits crash the fuck out when this happens bc theyre like what the actual fucky are we gonna do when we cant make money exploiting another country’s resources and they run to the americans for help getting mossaddegh. now eisenhowers admin at first is like “yall are fucking insane you want us to overthrow a foreign country’s prime minister because you want oil?” (this was before the americans response to any country not doing what they wanted was to kill their leader i know it may sound weird we weren’t all over this but its ok bc we come around via the dulles brothers)

so allen and foster dulles (head of CIA and secretary of state at the time respectively) hear about this and literally start frothing at the loins to get in on this action. they are litereally rock fucking hard at the thought of overthrowing the iranian govt albeit for different reasons.

ltrly the worst ppl ever and not hung

Allen is just a true sicko and was a spy during his younger days ( a super shitty one he literally missed a meeting with vladimir lenin before the commie revolution in 1917 and couldve altered the course of history but he was on play with “two buxom swiss girls” lmao and just blew lenin off) but ya allen was a spy and just liked getting up to mischief so he wanted another chance to feel something.

Foster though was just ideologically fucked. like he had gotten so corpo brained while working at sullivan and cromwell (top law firm basically influenced a lot of how the world looked financially at the time) that he had literally been a staunch supporter of the fucking nazis leading up to ww2 bc they did business together and allegedly was bawling crying after the meeting when the law firm divested from nazi germany. but ya he could only think about shareholder bottom line and wanted to help out his old friends at the british oil companies so he was like fuck ya lets overthrow some shit.

the dulles bros team up on some hardy boys shi and basically psyopp the entire eisenhower admin (morons) that mossaddegh was a raging communist (not accurate) and that if they didnt overthrow him all that oil would flow straight into the USSR and then stalin would personally fuck all their wives powered by iranian oil (this was not true the soviets actually did not like mossaddegh bc he didnt align with their beliefs and also they wanted no part of the iranian oil production as they realized a country that at the time supplied 60% of the USA’s oil is totally something the US would go to war over and they didnt want any part of that).

i used to love these books as a kid i remember reading this one

so basically the whole communist thing was BS and the dulles brothers did this whole song and dance bc they literally just didnt want to pay retail price for the oil they were getting. so the dulles bros get the green light from ikes bald ass (is he our only bald president?) to go forward with the coup and they get straight to work just assasinating key members of the govt and military. the ppl in iran naturally get pissed off at this and start protesting against a foreign power murdering key ppl in their govt and take to the streets and theres a lot of fuckin hooplah here.

the US goes to mossaddegh and is like yo u gotta change ur shit otherwise shits gonna keep being fucky and at first he resists on some ferd but then he bitches out after the us basically says yo if u dont listen to us put down the protests we’re gonna disavow ur entire govt on the world stage and he folds.

this was his fatal mistake. once he puts down the protests the cia sends their goons in and they take over the govt and basically just put the shah back up as the main decision maker. so oil is cheap again and now the US actually gets a 40% cut! how exciting. and im not just being a giga homer and making this shit up or believing some conspiracy. this is all fact. the cia literally admitted to doing the iranian coup. look it up

photo of cia hired goons pullin up in a cia funded tank to steal democracy from iran

now the US is giga involved bc they dont want any of that fuckery to happen again. in the years after the coup they just murk or torture any one who is organizing politically against the shah except for whatever reason they kinda leave the religious mfs (the ones in power now) alone. i dont really know why or how this transpired but ya. they disrupt like the iranian democratic movements and theres also socialist and communist mfs as well and they just eviscerate those ppl.

the problem is while opposition political leaders are being taken care of the normal ppl of the country are still fucking pissed bc their countrys natural resources are being stolen again and also now the shah is attacking and torturing and killing his own civilians to maintain his rule. bad news bears all aorund.

so another revolution happens after about two years of continued protests against the raping and pillaging of the country by western powers and the only opposition group that has been allowed to operate even a little is the hardline shia fundamentalists so theyre the ones who end up taking over. after this its khomeinis govt and country and he shuts shit down quick and that is why the country is being ruled now by khamenei and the rest of the mullahs.

highkey aura pic if ur khomeini or that glazer

so ya. thats literally the quickest way i could explain the history of how we got to where we are right now and it legit took me almost 2000 words. to recap: US and UK wanted cheap oil via shah which superseded iranians desire to have sovereignty over themselves and that led to religious hardliners controlling the country now.

the dulles brothers fucking suck for this and so much other shit too they really fucked everything up in a huge way and ill prob write an article about them bc their actions following ww2 was what cemented US globalization as the default foreign policy. before them most conservatives had an isolationist view where they ltrly just wanted to focus only on america and not give a fuck abt other countries and their bullshit but nooooooo allen needs to feel something bc he hates his wife and turned his son into a vegetable and foster needs to think about shareholder value. they suck

this is part one. this is basically all u need to know abt how iran got to the point that its at rn and then ill write part 2 in the coming days about what happened in the past few weeks and why i think a lot of the takes u see online and in mainstream media are moronic and lazy as fuck. i wasn’t planning on this being two parts but shit happens and i need to go to bed soon.

-R