editor’s note: substack kirked my original posting of this so had to redo. may be in ur email inbox twice but thats just twice the greatness for u guys so ur welcome
daddys back. i wish i could say my hiatus has been due to me gallivanting and being super hung and old money all over the world but summer 26 was my summer of being a r**** k******** (s/o Niranjan)
im super back tho now. #they tried their fucking hardest to pin me down and take advantage of my young hot, lithe, and supple frame, but i fought back and am once again on my way to fulfill my lifelong dream of dying on the bottleneck of k2 for no reason other than vanity.
short intro aside, lets talk about retardmaxxing and the person who i think is embodying it super well rn and just absolutely lapping normies, jason haskan or @wasted_in_transit on instagram
i first saw one of his posts a couple months ago, and didnt really watch it all the way thru with full attention bc i came away from it thinking he was some freelance war journalist who was in ukraine risking his life to get the real story of whats going on. i dmed bro asking if i could interview him for a glaze piece where id just talk about how lit he is and how hes such a hero for what hes doing
once he agreed to get jacked by real mf like me, i realized as the young well hung journalist i am it was time to do some more due diligence on the subject of my piece. this is when i realized bro is not a war time chronicler. he is ltrly just a gigachad who marauds across the world drinking excessively and engaging in financial hijinx to get from point a to point b. which like makes sense considering his name is ltrly “wastedintransit”. he wasnt trying to hide this at all im just retarded and only watched like 1/4 of a video before dming him
here are some of bros genny videos
“I was wondering how much are the beeeeers” is being permanently added to my lexicon
regardless, at this point i was in too deep but highkirk knew i could still cook up some fye with bro as the subject so we set up a time to get on google meet and now we have this wonderful piece about our convo.
side note: he turned his camera on and was legit already drinking it was so sick. it was like 10am local time for me but seeing him just absolutely steezing a beer made me wanna start bevving so bad. i ltrly havent yearned for a beer that hard in a long time.
how bro got to where he’s at
i began by asking him how wasted in transit came about bc idk that just seemed like the natural place to start. i’ve never interviewed anyone before so i didnt wanna try any crazy reinvent the wheel type shit. i was sticking to the basics and this is what we got
he really started off as a regular ass mf. bro went to college, lived with his gf (didnt ask if she was foid or stacey thats my fault), and had a “normal” job. this is where shit already started to kinda deviate from the traditional life tho. wasted’s “normal” job was being a window cleaner for skyscrapers. thats not a normal job, mf, thats way cooler than being a fucking accountant or some stupid shit like that. ur literally suspended hundreds of ft in the sky listening to deftones and caressing a squeegee across a see thru rectangle
everything changed for bro when him and his foid broke up. now, idk what happened here specifically bc im a bad interviewer and didn’t ask if he got broken up with or why this was such a pivotal moment for him. idk maybe it was just the logistical aspect of not having a perma place to live. maybe she cheated on him and sucked the kirk out of some other dude. idk bc i didn’t ask. either way it resulted in wasted absconding to Kyrgyzstan (finished #1 in total medals and #2 in golds at the 2026 nomad games btw) to teach english to villagers or some shit like that idk. this was his first time leaving the country and where he says his love affair with traveling to random places and retardmaxxing began.
Present day type shi
fast forward a few years and wasted now has a decently large following on ig where he just posts himself drinking excessively and meeting people and overall just having a good time and whimsymaxxing and doing whatever the fuck he wants. his life looks sick. and he’s building up hella lore. and its lore that doesnt involve being wageslave. some of the stories he was telling me were so good imma drop a few of my favs
Ukraine hellfire
his ukraine plot line obviously gathers a lot of interest from mfs and he spent like 6 months there just larping around. idk what he was doing fr on a day to day but he told me about one night where he was woken up via air raid siren earrape and there were just explosions going on for hours. just an absolute never-ending onslaught of russian barrages burrowing deep inside him nonconsensually all night. he recorded these fucking absurd vids from the window of his hostel not knowing if the shaheds and missile strikes were gonna kirk his bitch ass (this may have been pre kirk actually wow)
these videos are crazy i really cant fathom a ballistic missile exploding in ur vicinity or a shaheds lawn mower ass engine getting nearer and nearer
the funniest part is he said after he got bored recording the drones he went downstairs to get a glass of water and everyone else in the hostel was on the ground floor taking shelter lmao. he says he was doomscrolling tung tung tung tung SAHUR reels when he made eye contact with the other ppl. can u imagine being a scared little euro traveler looking to find themselves via backpacking thru europe and having raw unprotected sex and now ur getting bombed all night and cowering in a bomb shelter and to top it all off this 6 4 gigachad american who’s built like a fridge comes down and is giggling to himself watching a ai generated storyline of a piece of wood who carries a baseball bat attempt to kill a shark that wears jordans bc the shark had sex with tung’s huzz who’s named ballerina cappucina? so retarded
Kyrgi Drunken Brawl
another neat story he told me was about when he almost got curb-stomped to death by some gypsys in kyrgyzstan. apparently wasted was at some bar getting giga racked as he is wont to do and as he was leaving with two huzz (chad shit) some local kyrgy mf started calling him a paki(?) this triggered wasted bc as he explained to me he is ”a little navajo and accepts mexican” but is definitely not a pakistani.
so they started fighting outside the bar. unbeknownst to our hero, the gypsy had 5 additional gypsii waiting in a car around the corner who emerged all angry and frothy. wasted said he fought off a few of them with his retard chad strength and got them to retreat away licking their wounds. this is when they started throwing rocks at him lmao. legit treating bro like a wild mountain lion or some shit just throwing sediment from a distance. they began approaching in a phalanx setup for their next attack when wasted was saved by the fact that the taxi he had called to pick him and his two huzz up arrived. he jumped in with his huzz and escaped. so sick
Cosplaying Cupid
the last story i wanna tell is the best one. the story of scott. scott is ur normal run of the mill guy. successful lawyer from the states. on vacation in europe and seemingly just looking to feel something and escape from the monotony of his regular life. he reached out to wasted bc they were both in poland and asked to meet up and grab a bev. wasted was allegedly hung ched bomb already and had no desire to go out but wanted to appease his follower so he went. next thing he knows hes waking up in a penthouse hotel room at 7pm the next day.
ok that sounds like they went and did a bunch of gay stuff. thats not the case. as far as i know at least. wasted said they just immediately hit it off and just had a fucking night getting giga faded together and it was a movie. scott had a couple weeks left on his trip and told wasted he’d sponsor everything for him if he just joined on the adventure. wasted obviously obliged bc why tf would you say no to free everything just to booze with someone
they spend the next few weeks just raging across europe averaging 30 alcohol beverages a day. wasted said that once it was over and scott had flown bro back to warsaw where it all started he ltrly went thru withdrawals for weeks lmao. mf said his brain ltrly wasnt operational for days. he was legit vegmaxxing by the end and was unable to string together a full sentence but had kept bevving in the name of being ferd. ltrly retarding himself just to be a bro. very admirable
the best part is that during this harammaxxing escapade scott literally met his wife. like his legal partner. all bc he dmed our lovable retard.
the story goes that scott met this polish girl on tinder and then they all went out together and then the girl just tagged along with them the rest of the way. 6 months later, wasted got a message from scott checking in and telling him that the puzz (polish huzz) was visting him in miami to catch some more of that scotty hammer and load. a few days after that wasted gets a message saying that scott and the puzz got married in the keys
2 things here. first of all shoutout to the puzz fr. generational making it out the trenches story. just incredible levels of bag chasing. find rich american. suck the skin off his shi and make him yearn for u endlessly. get him to fly u out and then marry u. so sick. like ppl will hate on the golddiggers but it is admirable to be that dedicated to getting a fucking bag. i respect the level of agency they have a lot
2nd of all shoutout to scott man. ur in europe tryna cut loose on vacation. u sponsor some american degenerate to show u a good time. and u come out of it with a wife. im assuming shes hot so good for u man. u changed ur life immeasurably in the span of like 6 months. most people spend their entire lives without taking anywhere the amount of action that you took. jacking u too
Why everyone should be like wasted
and this takes me to the main point of this piece. u gotta just do shit. wasted is where hes at now bc he just does shit. him doing shit allows him to now just travel around the world and have ppl pay for him to ltrly just get fucked up with them. wtf do u guys do? move numbers around on a led screen thats raping ur retinas just so some other man can tell u if ur allowed to take a half day so u can go to the dentist?
wasted tells me that people reach out to him all the time asking how they can do what he does. and he shoots them straight and tells these larpers that u gotta b ok with giving up control. u gotta b ok with spending 6 hours in the rain trying to figure out how to cross the border into bolivia not knowing what the border agents need bc u ltrly dont speak a lick of frijole. u gotta be ok with trying to figure out how to access western union in albania before nightfall bc ur only option of a place to stay doesnt accept card and needs cash. u gotta be ok with determining where ur gonna fly next based off what the cheapest flight on skyscanner is.
after explaining this to people he says most of them go “oh nvm i dont wanna do that”. this is the issue. ppl want the lives and the experiences that other ppl have but arent willing to deal with one iota of the discomfort that is required to achieve it.
this is why you must retardmaxx. dont overthink ur way to permanent stagnation. let go of control and see where you end up. a retard in motion is always better than a genius at rest
Wasted, adhering closely to this tenet, is now in prague after spending his last $80 on the flight there. go follow bro and buy him a beer or a bag or both.
He also is now offering guided adventures! so if you wanna try retardmaxxing without having to go full retard this is a great option. or maybe you just wanna see a master retard in action. also fine. or maybe you wanna find true love. this is also a great option for you. wasted can do it all
-R
What the f is a r**** k********