DADDYS BACK AND IM TELLING YOU HOW I WOULD USE P*LANTIR FOr GOOD

i am the only one who should be trusted with the all seeing electrical god the autists created

hey lol its been a minute since ive cooked some shit up here but im back to bless you guys with some fye fye. in the last year ive done a lot of sick shit that i would tell you guys about but im gatekeeping so instead of talking abt me and how fire my life is today we’re tlking about what i think p*lantir should be used for and im letting you know right now that i’ll be using it for shit thats way sicker and more interesting than the fuckery they’ve got going on right now.

if u dont know what pally is they’re basically a nerdy tech company that collects data from everywhere and then sells that shit to mfs who want all the data like governments and militaries. which sounds not that bad and fairly inconspicuous until you realize that the info they’re selling is just an automated way of determining whether or not the middle eastern person walking around is arab or jewish or sending kash patel the lowdown on who kirkified nba youngboy on ig reels

YoungKirk Never Broke Again

it doesnt help that their current ceo and cofounder alex karp is addicted to bag and the other main founder is peter thiel whose 2 most recent public episodes have been inviting clavicular the looksmaxxing god to a party where he most likely wouldve tried to diddy him and hosting a 4 day speaking series in san francisco about how he thinks the antichrist is coming and that he believes its a very real possibly that the AC is greta thunberg (ill probably end up writing a separate piece about thiel and his obsession abt the antichrist bc its a lot tbh).

Alex Karp racked out of his mind doing a handstand or some shit

they also have a sister company anduril whose ceo is palmer lucky, another autist who only wears Hawaiian shirts bc he thinks its a masterful gambit to seem different and oneshot other autists into liking him and thinking hes cool. Anduril is what the govt uses to eliminate individuals when the software from palantir determines that they are in fact arab and therefore need an anduril barracuda missile to permanently make a home in their bodily orifices.

Palmer in a fit where if he was the local autist at ur bowling alley itd be fire but its not fire that he just makes increasingly more efficient ways to kill ppl

and ya both of those company names are from lord of the rings. so the people that can tell if u have a fat baby jd vance pic on ur phone and can subsequently eliminate ur entire neighborhood block bc of it are huge fucking nerds too which is just the cherry on top.

now that i’ve adequately explained what palantir is we can get into what i would do if i had access to their all seeing orb. basically my whole idea with having data on what every person in the world does is just ensuring that mfs who have an obligation to do or not do something are actually adhering to their responsibility.

for example i think the vatican should genuinely be the number one customer of pally to make sure all their fucking priests worldwide are staying in line and if not they should obv have the option to barracuda missile them but ill leave that up to the pope. but fr they should know if someone representing them is sucking and fucking little kids. wait actually sucking or fucking anyone i forgot they arent allowed to raw anyone regrdless of age.

police departments should get pally, not to spy on citizens, but so they know if their officers are on some fuck shit taking bribes or getting eaten by prostys in exchange for not getting arrested or planting evidence like they did on luigi mang.

luigi mang looking super hot and innocent in cable sweater with collar protruding

there should be a pally one time scan you can buy if u think ur significant other is slutting out elsewehere or if you wanna do a check before u get married and lock that shit down. in theory if ur marrying someone and u feel the need to buy that im gonna go out on a limb and say ur cooked regardless but it could be a useful tool for like ur parents or friends to do before they give the blessing and then only tell u if the scan discovered that that she in fact did not get invited on the yacht in skiami bc of her personality or that the guys trip to thailand involved extracurriculars with abgs that may or may not be long donging.

basically i think the ultimate information collector should only be used in positions where a mf has given their word to do or not do something and only in those situations. if u are putting an oath out there i should be able to use the omnipotent super computer to verify that ur not molesting boy scouts or framing someone for a crime bc ur too lazy and stupid to find out who actually did it or cheating on ur fiance bc ur a little bitch and cant break up w her.

thanks for reading guys…will be posting more rambling streams of consciousness

no more one year sabbaticals around here

R