Bachelor party fatigue (and its potential solution)

Idk abt yall but bachelor parties are not what I thought they were. I grew up when the hangover movies were coming out and was always thinking “damn well obviously I probably won’t meet Mike Tyson but this shit is gonna be insane”. My mind also went to new girl where Schmidt wanted his bachelor party in Japan or some shit. Also extremely lit.

However I’m 23 now and my some of my friends are starting to get married so the hypothetical bachelor party is slowly becoming a reality for me. now I haven’t been invited to one yet (need the peanut gallery to shut the fuck up here) but from what I’ve heard they haven’t been that lit.

now I think the reason they haven’t been lit is the same reason I haven’t been invited to them either. The people that are getting married around my age (especially from the south) are typically more religious (this will be a future post for when I have more plot armor built up). So this leads to the bachelor parties being more wholesome which I understand.

However this thought led me to bring the conversation to my friends and we started talking abt what our dream bachelor parties would be. This is actually a good convo to have bc if I’m not mistaken ( i totally may be) the bachelor party is planned by the best man and is a surprise to the groom. So this is probably a good convo to broach w ur friends so they have an idea of what u want.

Now after some of the usual ideas like going to Vegas and some of the more out of ordinary ones like an expedition to Antarctica, We came to a conclusion that will shock u. We actually came up w what could be a multi million dollar business idea. And I’m giving it out to the public bc I’m already involved in at the very least 4 hair brained schemes that should In Theory make me a multi million dollar man.

heres the pitch. What has pretty much every guy wanted to do since being a kid? What is the coolest thing that someone could be? Exactly, a pirate. Unfortunately pirates don’t exist in the super cool jack sparrow way anymore. they exist in the much less cool Somali way. But what if we could bring them back? All it takes is a capital investment to get the right gear and in theory u could be a pirate.

Herein comes the dream bachelor party. U and all your best mates with a crew of swashbuckling killers ready to take on the high seas and plunder some booty. U get the ship, the crew, some fire guns, unlimited booze and drugs (no way Somalia has strict narcotic control), and one weekend to grab as much cash as possible.

captain Phillips cargo ship? Go for it. 400 ft yacht owned by some random Russian oligarch? Easy money. Your team of trained killers is there to make it happen.

I really think there’s something here for a shrewd old money businessman with too much time and money on his hands. Like a most dangerous game type thing.